I recently had a John Quiñones "what would you do?" moment.
Truly, I want feedback; what would you do?
During my children's grade and high school years I was a single mom and knew well the mothers of their friends. But, rarely did we have social, nighttime engagements with them as couples. Nothing unusual there as all single women will attest.
But as our children have gone to college, several of us remain friends and at Christmastime make sure we have dinner together- husbands and wives and me. One couple has organized it from the start, and each year comes up with a new, small clubby restaurant where we can have an entire room to ourselves for the evening. Always a great time, new couples added most years to extend the circle, and it is something I always look forward to attending.
However, the wine flows very freely, appetizers, and several courses for most and I just do not eat that way. A glass of wine is plenty. I am my own designated driver after all, but mostly it puts me to sleep! I am there to enjoy the company, catch up with friends and their kids' activities. Add four courses and several glasses of wine, I'd be asleep in my chair by the fireplace for the night!
But as our children have gone to college, several of us remain friends and at Christmastime make sure we have dinner together- husbands and wives and me. One couple has organized it from the start, and each year comes up with a new, small clubby restaurant where we can have an entire room to ourselves for the evening. Always a great time, new couples added most years to extend the circle, and it is something I always look forward to attending.
However, the wine flows very freely, appetizers, and several courses for most and I just do not eat that way. A glass of wine is plenty. I am my own designated driver after all, but mostly it puts me to sleep! I am there to enjoy the company, catch up with friends and their kids' activities. Add four courses and several glasses of wine, I'd be asleep in my chair by the fireplace for the night!
Last night was just such a night. Beautiful skyrise restaurant downtown, library type dining room setting all to ourselves, 8 other couples, great conversation, seated with my back to the fireplace ( really close- was heaven on a cold rainy night) and a great time was had by all.
When the bill came, having had a spinach salad, appetizer salmon and one glass of Cabernet (only half drunk as it was bitter) I had mentally calculated it to be @$30 assuming a $10 glass of wine.
Imagine my surprise ...$109!
And, the waitress had brought the last two checks - mine and the couple next to me - after the other 6 checks were already paid (I guess she did two at a time. I really wasn't paying attention to the system)
When I questioned her, she said she was told to just divide the wine tab into 9 checks! Now, remember I said there were 8 couples and me? I am drinking for two now! That means my glass of bitter cab cost $89!
Ok. Other bills all paid. It certainly was not a thought- out plan to overcharge a friend to reduce their own cheques. Nobody has thought of the inequity I am sure. What could I do?
I paid it.
Two years ago there was just one check for the party (the only way the restaurant would do it) and the very same problem would have occurred had someone not pointed out that it wasn't right for me to pay any part of 10 bottles of wine when I hadn't had a drop (surgery the next day). Much appreciated!
This year we were to pay our own separate checks. Actually, we were told that cash is the only accepted currency at the Club. But, when I arrived, the wine was already flowing and new arrangements had evidently been made.
So, back to my question...what would you do? When I find a great man I'd like to go with me, then at least that $89 glass of wine will be happily consumed by two.
But, until then.. Did I wimp out in not speaking up? Tell me how you'd have handled it. I refuse to miss out on fun in a couple's world just because I'm not coupled. Yet.
When the bill came, having had a spinach salad, appetizer salmon and one glass of Cabernet (only half drunk as it was bitter) I had mentally calculated it to be @$30 assuming a $10 glass of wine.
Imagine my surprise ...$109!
And, the waitress had brought the last two checks - mine and the couple next to me - after the other 6 checks were already paid (I guess she did two at a time. I really wasn't paying attention to the system)
When I questioned her, she said she was told to just divide the wine tab into 9 checks! Now, remember I said there were 8 couples and me? I am drinking for two now! That means my glass of bitter cab cost $89!
Ok. Other bills all paid. It certainly was not a thought- out plan to overcharge a friend to reduce their own cheques. Nobody has thought of the inequity I am sure. What could I do?
I paid it.
Two years ago there was just one check for the party (the only way the restaurant would do it) and the very same problem would have occurred had someone not pointed out that it wasn't right for me to pay any part of 10 bottles of wine when I hadn't had a drop (surgery the next day). Much appreciated!
This year we were to pay our own separate checks. Actually, we were told that cash is the only accepted currency at the Club. But, when I arrived, the wine was already flowing and new arrangements had evidently been made.
So, back to my question...what would you do? When I find a great man I'd like to go with me, then at least that $89 glass of wine will be happily consumed by two.
But, until then.. Did I wimp out in not speaking up? Tell me how you'd have handled it. I refuse to miss out on fun in a couple's world just because I'm not coupled. Yet.